First off, we must define “crazy”. My beautiful, sweet slightly insane wife does things on a regular basis that “irritate” or “bug” me, but do they drive me crazy? No. I love my wife because of her quirks, not despite them.

We, I think, have a very blessed relationship in that we almost never fight, or even argue. It sounds unbelievable I know, but it’s true. The few times we have, were mostly either my trying to annoy her, usually by purposely taking an opposite position on a particular subject I know she feels strongly about, or my being stupid.

The best advice I have ever heard, for married people, is to never go to sleep angry. It works.

Now, if a situation arose……where we were fighting or she was doing something that was driving me up the wall……………….usually, I just point out where she is wrong or offer an alternative to the annoying behavior, then leave it to her to correct what needs to be corrected. In those rare cases that I am wrong……yes it happens, I apologize and do my darndest to do what I need to do to ensure that I do not make the same mistake again.

I must admit something though, if I get particularly up set or frustrated with a particular situation, I clam up. Not a word. I know I have a sharp tongue and, when angry, the little filter between my brain and my mouth gets thinner and thinner. It is better, for me at least, to let thing run unchecked to better understand why I am reacting or feeling the way I am and the safest place to do that is in my head. After this mental assault runs it’s course, I usually can articulate what is bothering me in a way that my wife can respond to, if not completely understand.

So, I guess…….the answer to your question is both, but never in a destructive or sabatoging manner.